When I was 15, my mom died and I know I shouldn't take that as a pretext of what I did with my life. I remember that I started smoking and drinking (like my other friends) and when I was 17 i became addicted to heroin. Then my friends started telling me "You ought to stop partying all day, you look like crap" But I never listened to them, I knew I could die but I didn't really care. One day, I went to a party with my girlfriend, she loved me although I didn't deserve that, and I remember I got really drunk there. She told me I couldn't even stay still, so she would drive me back home. I told her "I'm ok, I can drive, you need to relax" and she looked really nervious but she didn't say a word.